NEW YORK - Hoteliers could save themselves some aggravation - and loads of sullied laundry - if only they read their washing instructions more carefully.

Though mill owners and textile fabricators normally warn customers of the perils of certain washing practices, the fabric companies often receive maimed bedspreads in the mail, victims of a silent but brutal killer: fabric softener.

Larry Hulighan, president of Copland, Inc. in Burlington, North Carolina, said he receives one damaged bedspread ''every couple of months'' from hotels that fabric soften the cloth into a shambles. ''We seriously scour them to get all the chemicals out, and lo and behold we've brought them back to speed,'' Hulighan said.

Hulighan said silicone in fabric softener weakens bedspread seams and fiber structure, and causes fiber shifting, bruising, and separation.

Fabricator Harvey Lazarus, president of B. Lazarus in Miami, said customers should ''know better'' than to use fabric softeners or any other chemicals on bedspreads. ''There's no reason for it,'' he said, adding that all B. Lazarus bedspread washing labels state ''avoid use of fabric softeners.''

But Lazarus claimed bedspread makers and hoteliers should have a far greater concern: hot water. He said high temperatures damage bedspreads far more often than fabric softeners do, and recommended that customers wash bedspreads with warm water. ''The biggest boogeyman from bedspreads is heat,'' he said.